Hey blogging land,
I have always been interested in parenthood in golden years, and I have recently watched a video on where a lady was speaking about how she grew up being raised by older parents and how she was always let down on how little energy they had and felt like they couldn’t keep up with her. She also mentioned how she was constantly worried about her parents passing away as she grew up.
Now, we all worry about our parents passing away especially as we grow older, however I cannot imagine having parents the age of your grandparents and feeling that concern of being abandoned or left without anyone to look after you. You wouldn’t know your grandparents and quite frankly if you did, you wouldn’t know them for long. But there would be no extended family to look after you, your aunties and uncles would be on the same page as your parents, you would watch your family fall apart at such a young age as the older you get.
The passing of your parents and extended family, such as aunties and uncles – this is something that should come into play when you are older and established in life and have a maturer mind frame. Being a younger individual and dealing with such huge losses would be absolutely traumatic.
I do personally believe that it is selfish to hold off on children until later in life then decide to have a child while you’re having a midlife crisis or just want to tick it off of your bucket list. A child is an absolute gift, many people struggle to even become pregnant, to put your body through the stress of a pregnancy when you are older and more likely to be at risk of dangers with the pregnancy is bonkers. It’s not just you at risk, it is the child as well. You are raising the risks of deformities and implications with the child. You are less likely to have a healthy child the older you are, science has proven that time and time again.
If you are a person who wants to travel the world, reach the best you can in your career, buy a house and do you for majority of your life without even stopping to consider having a child – why decide to have a child once that is all completed and you have nothing left to give energy wise to your child? You physically won’t be able to keep up, many women notice considerable amounts of changes in their energy and patience levels the more kids that they have, and these are young mums as well.
As much as a child is a gift, it is also a sacrifice. You will be sacrificing you time, dedicating your entire being to your career life (depending if your child is your main focus), money, personal space, the list goes on. Your life changes from the moment you have a child. But that is the sacrifices a lot of young parents give and they never look back. If you are a family person, you get it to work out.
I don’t believe you can spend your life entirely dedicated to you until you hit your golden years, then decide that is the time to have a child. You can’t introduce a child into a parentless life for the majority of their life. You won’t even get to meet your grand children, let alone watch your child get married, who knows. You would be missing out on their entire lives, and barely be able to keep up with them in their early years. You may be able to provide them stability with finances (maybe), a settled home, the basic necessities – but the emotional necessities would not be there. It’s just sad to see.
You need to consider the life for the child, as much as you would want to introduce a bundle of joy into your life – if you swapped positions with the child and imagined growing up without your partner and yourself, it would suck.
The lady who was being a defender for being an older parent in the video I was watching said that she doesn’t believe it comes down to your body but it comes down to your state of mind – I think that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. No one feels their age, you can be 30 years old and still feel 22 years old. That doesn’t make you a more fit parent, that just makes you a human being. If you were having a bad run of nappies on one day, and constantly bending up and down – is your body going to forgive you by the end of the day? Young parents have enough problems as it is! If your child constantly wants to be picked up, chasing after them to get them into the bath tub – whatever it is, you are putting yourself in a weaker position. When your child sees their friends parents and wonders why you are different – that would be heartbreaking.
I don’t know, I feel bad for the whole situation. Each to their own, no one can control what anyone does with their bodies and their lives. We are all entitled to our own opinion, mine just happens to disagree with minority. I just feel sad for the entire situation, seeing the feedback from the daughter who was raised with parents in their golden years and how she now has children of her own and struggles to even keep up – it just makes me feel sad. She said she was even regretful for having children beyond 20 years, which is crazy feedback to see from her childhood. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been for her growing up. I would be lost without my parents, especially now I am in my 20s – I need them more than ever!
Well – that’s my rant for the evening. Let me know your thoughts.