I Would Spend My Entire Life Searching For You

Hey guys,

I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend! 

Something that I have found out about myself over these last couple of years is that I would give absolutely everything and anything for love. When I was young, I would dream about having that one person. That one person to grow old with, watch them develop into an incredible human being and never see my passion for them die out. Someone you are unbelievably proud of no matter what. 

I found that over the last few years, even though I would give absolutely everything and anything for love – my hope faltered. I honestly thought that I would never find that, my hope died out and I grew quite bitter about love. My trust in people has disappeared over the time, I slowly turned into my shell and decided love wasn’t going to win over me and my security. 

However, since finding my partner – my love for love is broadening again. Love is such a beautiful thing. I have my child like dreams back. I have my indescribable feelings and hopes  just flying around my stomach like butterflies. 

When I look at him, my worries just fade away. Life with him is easy, we get the absolute worst things thrown at us – you wouldn’t believe how evil the universe can be to us and yet we do not change. Our love is unconditional. We have been through so much in the last few months recently and we only grew stonger. 

This is the kind of love that I have only dreamed about, and I just wanted to share with you all how incredibly grateful I am. I have only just come to terms with the fact that I can be quite cruel, I push people away only to bring them back in straight afterwards. I have problems with commitment, I fear that a person like me shouldn’t be in a relationship because I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I have found someone that is willing to work through my faults with me, support me and nurture who I am. I can be a real asshole, but I do not mean any hurt that I put people through. It’s literally just how my personality is, and I will always try to work against that and try and bring nothing but love and sincerity – because that’s who I really am. 

We are not our negative aspects about ourselves. We can all be assholes, but that is part of our personality traits. That doesn’t define us though. If you can acknowledge how you are, faults and all – yet let your positivity shine through and your nuturing aspects, that is who you are. 

What I am trying to say is, I have my child like hope and dreams back for love. I love, love again. It makes me so happy to feel this way, and I want to embrace this opportunity and share it with you all. 

Find someone who helps you feel this way. There is no greater feeling, being in love is such a pure gift in this world. There is so much pain and cruelty in this world, yet love will always win. 

I love how my partner makes me feel. I feel like everyday is a new beginning, a fresh start. There is something so beautiful about being able to share your entire self with someone and feel like you are in your own company. My partner is my best friend, my future, my absolute world. This is what a soul mate is. A soul mate is real. I truly believe that there is someone special out there for all of us. Whether you find them in this lifetime or your next, when you find them, you know. You feel like your whole entire existence makes entire sense and you feel like you know them more than you know yourself. They make your days feel brighter and they change that black and white feeling to the entire rainbow. I felt like I was wasting time until I met him, and now I can see my future as clear as day. 

Love is such a beautiful thing. I would search for him for my entire life time if it meant that I could share just one day with him. Love is a beautiful, beautiful thing. 

I couldn’t be more grateful. 

Speak soon all,

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