So on television these days there a lot of new up coming series about trying to piece together troubled relationships/marriages. For example, Seven Year Switch and The Last Resort. The different kind of couples you see are quite varied, whether their relationship troubles started through cheating or sexless marriage – you name it, they are going through it. For some reason, resolving these problems through paid television publicity sounded like a great idea!
To be honest – these shows definitely suck me in. Drama television is always saucy, and it always manages it’s way onto the news. There is something about watching these shows and repeatedly shaking my head and cursing that I just can’t steer away from, it’s addictive! I love to judge these situations!
Anyway, here I go, getting excited on the gossip-like dirty drama shows again. My point being, it’s so common these days that cheating is becoming the norm. It’s common now to hear the word “cheater” and not instantly be disgusted. These days, it’s sympathized. Cheaters are being looked at as though they are victims, as if their partners neglect leaded them into the arms of another being.
Psychologists seem to think that cheating is something that isn’t the problem, it’s the relationship that is the problem and they need to work together to give the cheater their needs and almost ‘baby’ the cheater.
Unfortunately – this doesn’t fly with me. Once a cheat, always a cheat. As soon as someone is unfaithful to you, get the hell out of there. Do not stay with them. You hear me? Do. Not. Stay. With. Them.
It is not your fault. It is not your responsibility to keep their body parts in their clothes, their hands to themselves, their lips shut and their eyes off of anyone else. This is not your responsibility. It is not your responsibility to monitor everything that they do. It is not your responsibility to minimize your concerns, to “get over” your insecurities or to “trust” what you do not trust. If your gut is telling you that your partner is shady, do not fight against this. It is not your anxieties, it’s your gut telling you this person is not worthy of your trust. When you know, you fucking know. Don’t delay this probability. You do not have to wait for them to prove to you everything that you already know.
These television shows are strictly for dirty drama, not for gospel. These relationships are publicized clearly just for money. They are not soul mates, they aren’t destined to be together. If you are genuinely serious about resolving a problematic marriage or relationship, you do your appointments in privacy and work on that together. However, if your partner is that detached from you that they can turn to another in intimacy, you have problems that will be unable to be resolved. You will forever be insecure and the trust will be lost.
A relationship should be built upon trust, of course you are going to have your insecurities here and there but that is just being a human. When someone can lie constantly, be untrustworthy and manipulative – there is no point in allowing room for change. They are in denial, they will make you feel like you are the problem. You cannot lower yourself to that environment, they deserve to be alone and sort out what they want in their own life – they cannot bring people into their twisted warp.
If you are involved in an unfaithful relationship as of this moment, or suspecting infidelity – please take a moment to re read everything that I have just said and consider moving away from this relationship. You may believe that you love them, but there is no greater feeling than reciprocated love. When someone will do absolutely anything to see you smile, as much as you want them to smile, to give you unconditional love and honesty and prove to you everyday that you can trust them. They will give you no reason to doubt their constant love and adoration for you.
This is what you need, this is what you deserve. Please consider removing yourself from this toxic situation.
No matter what media will try to show you – cheating is not resolvable. It is not forgiven, forgotten or something that you can work through. The damage is done once it is created.
You don’t have to be the one to work through this, they don’t have anything to work through – they got the cake and got to eat it too, now you’re baking another cake for them to eat. How easy is that for them? And how hard is it for you to work through? Compare the two positions, and realize how shit that is.
Don’t give them another shot. Get the hell out of there.