I just thought that I would share my thoughts with you in regards to how we are all stalkers! You may be thinking “What??” but, bear with me.
You, your family, your friends, your work colleagues, the cashier that served you, the mail man, the person who walks their dog down the street that you always run into – all stalkers. On the internet, your morning usual check-up on your ex, your exes friends, the girlfriend/boyfriend of your exes friend of a friend, your friends, your friends ex, your friends exes friends – whoever, you are literally stalking them. Humans are so interested in what absolutely everyone is doing that they literally cannot stop. Being online is the place to do so.
No one is getting closure from relationships. Let’s say you separated from someone about 6 months ago, you’re doing your usual night time stalk on Facebook, then you come across a photo that your ex is in. Then you trail from that photo, to every photo, to their page, to every status they have posted – right up to the last time you checked. Which let’s be real, was probably less than 24 hours ago. It’s so disturbing.
Let’s say they get into a new relationship, you literally do a entire inspection on that person. Were they around when you were dating your ex? Who do they know? Where are they from? How old are they? How many mutual friends do you have in common? How long have they been together? Where has my ex commented/liked previously? Who are their friends? And the questions could go on, and on.
Or what about if you get into a new relationship – you will still check out of pure curiosity on your ex or their ex or maybe even both! To be honest, you probably have ALREADY checked absolutely everything about this person that there could possibly be online. Where is the privacy? Where is the “Out of sight, out of mind” quote being put into practice? Where is the closure?
Literally everyone in this day in age on social media is an absolute stalker, and there is no talk about it. It’s unhealthy, it’s troublesome and it causes a lot of problems psychologically. I can only imagine how many break-ups/divorces social media causes. I can also imagine how many relationships that shouldn’t have started in the first place are created from social media.
If someone is supposed to be in your life, it will work out. They will find a way into reality. Is it really stupid in this day in age to have the “crazy belief” that you are in your location for a reason, if you were supposed to cross paths with people they will somehow come into your life – whether that means you are born in England and travel to Australia because life crossed that pathway and then you meet the love of your life in reality, completely unintentionally. Or you simply go to a school near your home and meet your childhood sweetheart. Or you go to the pub and see them across the room and can’t take your eyes off of them and been inseparable ever since. Potentially even just going to work, grabbing a coffee, picking your clothes up from a laundromat – whatever. Literally anything. People can’t use the excuse that you don’t get talking to people because people are so involved in technology and glued to their phones all day – because back in the day, people had newspapers. You would be on public transport and people were glued to their morning newspapers. The situations are always the same, there are just advances in technology. You still live your everyday life, you still go to numerous pin points throughout your days and you can always embrace the chance to meet the love of your life. Things happen for a reason, you can’t force love into your hands by enforcing your social media usage. 9/10 the person you meet on the internet isn’t who they say they are, you aren’t supposed to cross paths with them.
This also goes for older people who join their school year groups on Facebook and chat up people that have “turned out pretty alright” and want to see what’s going on there. Sadly majority of these people are married people. The amount of divorces that have come from social media, Facebook in particular is ridiculous.
People post their entire lives online, they post what they are doing, their locations, they indirectly harass others, they post harmful things, people live stream self harm, people live stream bullying, people live stream their own suicide. Social media is taking over peoples brains and not for the better.
Little do we all realize is that it’s for advertising. Facebook in particular. Brands are promoted, advertisements are promoted strictly tied to what you like or what you search – Facebook learns what you are doing and will advertise to you to get your attention. Brands are being promoted without you even realizing. It’s already starting.
Back to my main point, we as society need to learn to let the past go. We literally maintain all these social media accounts out of pure loneliness. We hunt these people in our pasts because they were the moments where you felt less alone, you believe your life was so much better and brighter beforehand so you hold onto whatever information that you can get. You need to learn to be okay with being alone, being with yourself. When you are bored, instead of grabbing your phone and opening up Facebook – go for a walk by yourself and be with your mind for a while. When you first wake up, don’t grab for your phone and scroll through your social media to see what happened over night when you were asleep or how many likes you have – lye in bed for a while and enjoy the quiet then get up and grab yourself some breakfast.
If it is love you are looking for, or company – maybe that friendship you have been craving but never found. You can find this all in yourself. I have been offline social media for over 4 years – I have never felt better. I love blogging, blogging is my passion because it is how I reach people on a written level. I’m not social to anyone on here, I don’t reach out to people, I’m an antisocial blogger and I aim to keep it that way. So, as you can imagine, I was well prepared that I probably was never going to find love because I don’t broaden myself on social media (sad that I had to think that), but I found the love of my life spontaneously when I was least expecting it – in reality. It happens, it genuinely does happen in real life. I am so proud to tell my future children that I met their father in real life, rather than having a “Oh they slid into my dms” or “I hit her up on Snapchat” – it’s not the same anymore. Romance doesn’t have the same chime to it. You aren’t going to find the love of your life by asking people “Who’s up? Like this and I will inbox you!” – you really aren’t. Why are we catering our lives to this lifestyle?
Seriously, let go. If you honestly think about the entirety of social media – it’s creepy. Stop doing this to yourself. Stop looking, stop wondering, stop your curiosity. Curiosity is what killed the cat. You will only hurt yourself and potentially those around you, it’s an unhealthy habit and you are literally being a stalker. Unfollow whoever it is that you know you shouldn’t be ‘following’, unfriend them, whatever. Let go. Move on. Don’t look back. It’s not what you want.
Do this for yourself.