As promised here is another posting for the day. I’m sitting here with a goblet of red wine, so grab yours and let’s have a red wine partaaay!
Basically I want to have a chat about relationships these days and what they actually mean to people. You see celebrities divorces left, right and center. Whether monogamy is for them or not, you will hear about it. Commonly spoken about these days – apparently open relationships are the way humans are destined to live, “we weren’t created to tie ourselves down to one person”.
It has me questioning if all of these changes that up and coming generations means we will be saying goodbye to traditional relationships, saying goodbye to married couples with children and having those children grow up seeing their parents living and loving together until their dying days – or whether they will grow up with 5 dads and 1 mother or the other way around and saying come and meet my dads! “Bob”, “Bill”, “Barry”, “Brad” and oh that is my biological dad but his name is “Garry” we all live together and the grocery bill is huge!
Call me old fashioned, but I want to grow old with one man and one man only. I don’t have time to date openly, while dating someone already – and wondering what shenanigans is happening in my house or who. I only have one heart, one heart that I want to give entirely and completely to one soul. If you can give your heart in pieces to numerous people, that is not love. I don’t want to get married to expect it to fall apart. Or if it is falling apart, stand idly by and watch it happen. It takes two to make a marriage work, if the other party is more than happy to work through and resolve problems then why the hell not? If you don’t want to resolve it – why the hell are you with them?
If you are having troubles over chores, finances, random stresses throughout the day – (Obviously if there is physical or mental abuse, this is a 150% different circumstance) if it is something that you can find a resolution on, or worth finding a resolution on, give that a go. There is a reason why you are with this person in the first place, if the positives outweigh the negatives – find that damn resolution! Some people fall apart for the most ridiculous reasons, and 9/10 it wasn’t worth the escalation of the argument. However there is such a negative motion about relationship these days, people are too quick to throw in the towel because “if it was worth it, we wouldn’t have these kinds of arguments”, honey, no. The grass is not greener on the other side. Humans clash, it’s what happens. That is life. Life isn’t all happy days, shit gets rough and you work through it.
Relationships/marriages are thrown in too easily these days. Arguments happen, you are bound to clash. If your personalities don’t mesh well together – don’t commit to marriage with them. Don’t have kids with someone you can barely talk to for longer than 15 minutes. Trust your judgement. Honestly, you have to be purely blind if you stay with someone that you have almost barely anything in common with. If it doesn’t feel right, chances are your instincts are right and you need to let go before you devote your life to being with them. If you notice yourself continually criticizing them, disagreeing with almost anything that they do – don’t be with them. If you cannot see that you don’t like them as a person, you will know by seeing how you treat them.
On the other hand, marriages are created too easy. It’s a double edge sword. It’s not a matter of getting married too quickly, some marry after 8 years of being together and know absolutely very well that they cannot bloody stand one another. They feel societies pressures on their shoulders, with the thoughts “I SHOULD be married now” dependent on their age group, and they create the life that is expected yet they know very well they can’t wait to spend time by themselves and to be alone. Or it’s the situation of, well, I’ve been with them for this long we might as well get married. Come on. What the hell?
It’s also comes to a matter of chasing “the one”. They create this ideal in their mind that the person they are with or interested in is the one, when there isn’t the spark that is required to have a healthy life and successful marriage together. Some people don’t want to grow old alone, and will force themselves to be with someone just for the sake of it.
I crave the day that love is respected, treasured and given the recognition that it deserves. It is out there. I wish that the pressure of getting married for some, finding the one for some, or forcing themselves to settle because the fear of growing alone was not there and that people would wait until the time is right and that love comes into their life. The love that we all deserve. The love that gives us reason to be with one, and one only, happily for the rest of our lives and furthermore. Some have this love, and will never re-marry for their entire lives. They know that they found their true love, their soul mate.
I hope that you find it.