So I have seen a few things online recently where people are discussing how to get through hardships within relationships. Every relationship has their difficulties, moments where you either clash over different opinions about something or the other bits and pieces that are just – well, human. Not everyone is going to get along 150% every day, all day, day in day out. Everyone has a brain that functions their own way, not everyone is going to have the same answer or the same thoughts.
But, if you are unaware – relationships don’t have to be so difficult. You shouldn’t have to grow accustomed to feeling absolutely emotionally drained by the end of the day, it shouldn’t be an outstanding effort for you to listen to your partner, it shouldn’t have to be a situation where you are reaching out to alternative things to get that comfort that you feel you are missing. You don’t have to feel that emptiness, or that this is the best that it is going to get for you. You don’t need to put in all your cards and place your bet on that relationship for the simple reasoning that you are getting older, it’s expected for you to settle down at a pin point in your life or even that you don’t feel like there is anyone else out there for you.
Things don’t have to be so hard. In a relationship, you should feel constant ease. You should have an immense amount of happiness brought into your life from the moment you two crossed paths. Conflict in opinions are natural and human, as mentioned earlier, not everyone thinks the same thoughts or holds the exact same opinions. If you did, you would probably find it boring having someone agree with you all the time. It’s nice to have your mind broadened and see different viewpoints about topics. You learn something new, it’s useful. You should be happier with your partner in your life, you shouldn’t be counting the minutes until you can be away from them, you shouldn’t be racing out of the door early to work to deliberately get away from them, you shouldn’t be sighing at the thought of coming home to them and prolonging the time to go home. The best feeling for me and the highlight of my day is seeing my partner walk in from the front door – I light up and smile instantly. I cannot wait for weekends, any time with my partner is valued and cherished. It should be like being with your best friend.
When you get into a relationship, you need to weigh up 3 important things.
1. If you get into serious life changing situations where you need to have constant care, will they still be with you? Do you truly believe that deep down?
2. If they were to get into serious life changing situations where they need to have constant care, will you still be with them? Do you truly believe that deep down?
3. If you were to go through life changing situations together, will you be able to pull through it together as a team? Do you truly believe that deep down?
With any relationship, you are going to see some serious shit together. You are going to go through incredibly difficult hardships, and you are going to need to have strong communication skills together and be able to work as a team. And hopefully nothing sinister does happen, but if it ever was to (touch wood) you need to know that they will be there no questions asked, and that you would do the same in return. There is absolutely no point putting up with a disastrous relationship when in the end you would not work out when the going gets tough if you can’t make it through the easier times. You need to know that they will be there for the good and the bad.
It doesn’t need to be as hard as society makes it out to be. There is nothing glamorous about being in a on and off relationship, just because you are internet famous and people say you are “relationship goals” doesn’t make it any more forgivable in reality with how you could be being treated. You don’t need to tolerate anything, if something offends you be open about it, if nothing changes, dust your hands off and walk away. Actions speak louder than words and no apology can ever be accepted if actions aren’t made.
Happiness is the most important aspect of a relationship, you should feel at ease when they are around and enjoy your time together. Life is too short to spend it with people who don’t make your days that little bit longer and happier.