Today I want to discuss something that I guess even in the last few years especially, something that I wish I would have come across and read. A post on learning and understanding the signs of when it is time to cut ties with someone. Whether this be a friendship, a relationship, a family member, a job – anything.
I feel like us as individuals, we always like to surround ourselves with close friends and family. Something that my dad had prepared me for when finishing the last year of school was that literally every single friend you have, you will fall out of contact with. You out grow people you surround yourself with. Now, you may have that one childhood friend that you grew up with that will always remain in your contact list – but it is never the same friendship that you once had.
When they no longer encourage you to reach your fullest potential, or they look at you mindlessly as you talk about things that are happening in your life – that is an important thing to take note in. If you feel like you are putting in a large amount of effort, or feel like you are continually chasing after the friendship to keep the contact in tact – you probably need to slow your pace down and see if this is an equal sided friendship.
It takes two to make a strong friendship, but if you connect with someone and it’s a friendship worth keeping – you will notice that you aren’t continually exhausting yourself to maintain that friendship. It should naturally fall into place. You don’t need to keep exhausting yourself trying to stay in contact, forcing your outings where you go and catch up – or even just forcing yourself to keep an interest in their problems. You don’t need to do that.
You also don’t need to feel bad if you are succeeding, if something great is happening in your life while things aren’t so great for them – why should you have to hide your excitement or feel bad? A real friend will encourage you and congratulate you. A real friend should be there through the best and worst times, and if that isn’t happening is it really worth keeping?
When they no longer grow with you, when you feel like you’re at a loss with the growth of the friendship it is probably time to have that harsh look at reality with yourself. A friendship is a never ending growing blossom, the seasons change but the blossom changes and grows with it. Sometimes friendships reach a close, the last chapter is written and nothing good can come from continually squeezing the last few paragraphs into it when they don’t make sense to the entire book. When we keep trying to hold onto connections that no longer will be a healthy aspect in what your daily life looks at from when the friendship started.
Whether it’s not wanting to say goodbye to what was, or saying goodbye to the way that it leaves off. Maybe you want the friendship to close on a happier note, or you don’t want to let go of the memories that you have. You may even be scared, maybe you are scared that they know too much about you or you’re scared that they may turn other friendships against you. If they were that great of a friend, why would this even be a possibility? Sometimes you think the worst, but really you have been friends with them for so long that it’s almost like you don’t know them anymore. They’re entire strangers. But that’s the best thing about friendships, when one door closes another one opens. Sometimes you need to let go of things, because it will spark another fantastic thing happening in both of your lives. Things need to fall into place, but you need to throw the universe a lifeline so you can let things happen.
Happy mind, happy life.