Good morning everyone,
Welcome to day 5 of the 7 Days 7 Posts challenge. If you would like to join in, please see here.
Today’s writing topic is: Write A Letter To Someone Explaining Your Life Right Now
I hope you are well. How are things on your end?
Things are going reasonably well here on my end. We have started the new year on an interesting note, my husband and I.
We are awaiting the arrival of our bundle of joy, how they join us is going to be an interesting process. Due to their positioning, it’s looking to be a c section. It’s lucky that we have the nursery ready to go, and the car seat is in. We have had back and forth situations throughout this pregnancy as you may have been reading here on my blog.
We had a fright the last few days where my fundal height measurement went from 2 weeks behind to 3 weeks behind and our midwife terrified the crap out of us and booked us in for an emergency ultrasound – which was 4 days away from that appointment, mind you, so we spent those days absolutely freaking out. Turns out, bub is actually measuring fantastically and is even a day ahead. You can imagine our relief.
Unfortunately bub has gone from transverse to frank breech, which is the most common breech position and trained medical staff can deliver frank breech babies successfully. We will be declining ECV/frank breech delivery and just aiming for a scheduled c section. If bub manages to go heads down in time before the scheduled date and wants to come naturally we are all for it. We will be seeing how it goes.
Moving on from that, I am settling into maternity leave quite well. I have been trying to make great use of being at home by blogging as much as possible to keep my mind busy, the house is also the tidiest it has ever been for the longest time, and I have been able to focus on our financial savings to ensure we are doing our best. I have meal plans in place, and our shopping costs have gone down drastically.
Internally, I am feeling a bit lost at the moment. I am torn between wanting to skip forward to meet bub to also feeling incredibly scared and sad at what my life has been and saying goodbye to it.
It’s going to be an entirely new challenge, one that is once in a lifetime. I am incredibly grateful for my life and my opportunities, but it doesn’t help how scared and sad I feel at the same time.
They say once you hold your baby for the first time, you feel a love like no other. I also have heard stories of where that hasn’t happened for some first time mothers, and that is okay too. I hope that when I hold them for the first time I feel everything that the universe wants me to feel. I am going to be open to whatever happens.
I have found it hard in my pregnancy to not see my family. My mother, father, brothers – they haven’t seen me pregnant at all in real life throughout my entire pregnancy.
My parents have been unwell, and my brothers have had their busy schedules and their own lives to run. I understand that. I haven’t been able to travel to see them, given that I am pregnant and all it isn’t the safest and I wanted to be close to my hospital in case anything went wrong. It’s too late for me to travel now too.
I wish they could have experienced this journey with me. I wish they were able to have felt my belly and felt them kick, seen me and bub grow bigger together and just been here for me.
The internet is an amazing thing, isn’t it? The fact that I can video call, and send photos, so they still visually get to see the journey. It’s just tricky that it wasn’t a physical connection on the journey. I would have loved to pregnant belly hugged my mother. You know, when you awkwardly maneuver your belly around so that you can hug someone.
The next time I see my family is when I am going to be a mother. It’s just crazy to me. I will be seeing my family in just a few weeks, that is so exciting. I can’t wait to see them, and I can’t wait for them to see what tiny little human that my husband and I have created. I am so proud of my body.
I guess I am at a point where I feel like nothing is going to be the same again. They say when you have your baby you mourn for your pregnancy, the change and the adaption. I feel like I am currently mourning it, which is so strange. I feel like I could cry when I think about saying goodbye to life how it is now, and hello to our new future.
It’s so crazy to me because I could not be more appreciative and grateful for this journey. Being pregnant has changed a lot of things for me, and it has helped me a great deal with so many things in my mind. It has given me purpose. I just still can’t help but fight the sadness.
Life is fantastic, it really is. It’s just a period of waiting until our baby joins us, and we all embark on a new journey together. It’s time to mourn, but time to also rejoice for the future.
I hope you are doing well.
Write a letter to someone explaining your life right now..
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